So we arrived at Phalaborwa gate full of good spirits...two nights at Letaba and one at Talamati, somewhere none of us had ever been!
![[O]](./images/smilies/camera.gif "Photo")
We had picked up our pre-ordered Spar goodies in town, managed to avoid any Phalaborwamites...the sun was out... things couldn't be better!
As the Dimwits repacked the Samoosa, I skipped off to reception, whistling a tune!
RP: "Good morning, my Dear, and how are you this fine day?"
Receptionist: "Good morning, Sir, you certainly have a Spring in your step!"
RP: "Oh yes, it's great to be back! Apparently Colonel Schwarz has left the area too?"
Rec: "Yes he has Sir!"
RP: "Lovely, lovely! Here are our papers!"
Rec: "Lovely! But you are a day early, unfortunately...look here, your booking starts tomorrow, I'm afraid, and all camps are full..."
Rec: "Sir, are you all right?"
You know that expression "My blood ran cold"? It did. This was the worst Kruger moment of my life...it is difficult to describe, and I stared at the paper for about 15 minutes trying to comprehend what was going on.
Outside:
RP: "Err, come and have a look here, chaps..."
A godsend was that Frewells and Mambas are two of the calmest guys one could meet...and teachers are pretty difficult to shock...
This is what Goldenboy would have said:
"Ag, Richie, nee man.... 
man! Hoekom... en kyk jy nie die paopier met jou en up dronk en oe toe jy die en booking...etc etc."
This is what leachy would have said:
"Good Bye."
And he would have made me pay back all his money and hire a taxi to take him home...
But FW and Mam were fine:
"Let's make a plan...otherwise we'll just stay in Phala tonight! Problem solved! 
"
So we arranged with the lady at reception that we would go in and drive to Letaba, hoping to get a cancellation, and if not, come out again!
Gate Guard: "Guten Tag...ist zat alkohol in ze back of ze vehicle?"
There was a mountain of "alkohol" rather poorly packed all over everything else by the Dimwits.....back to reception, as day visitors are not allowed "alkohol"...and we were now sort of day visitors....
Re: "Ok...let me get the manager..."
Man: "Hello! What can I do for you?"
RP: "Wecameadayearlyandthere'snospaceinsidetheparksowejustwanttogoinandwaitforaspotmaybeotherwisewe'llcomeotagainwhatarewemeanttodowiththeboozewecan'tleave
itherepleaseopleasehavemercy!!!"
Man: "I understand!"
RP: "Oh thank you, thank you, so can we go in?"
Man: "No!"
We, or by this stage obviously I, had to book a campsite at Tsendze, and pay for it and 3 occupants, before we could go in. Also, gently but firmly, the Dimwits informed me they would not be able to stay a fourth night, so Talamati was out of the question...with trembling lip I sat in the back as we entered, not knowing what the day or my bank account would hold...
We turned onto the nearest dirt road, just to try and get some peace!
It didn't take long for the poorly-packed "alkohol" to start clinking and squeaking unbearably in the back, so we stopped to pack it properly!
As we opened the boot, a few cases of beer fell heavily to the ground, a number of cans bursting in the process! O mother of mercy!....
We burst into tears as we desperately drank from the spurting and foaming cans...it was just too much!
RP: "Booohooooo...glug....boo...glug...hooooo!"
Frew: "Whaaaaa....glug...waaaa..."
Mam: "Aaaaahr...glug...ghhh....glug..."
Later view:
He is essential for a dimwit tale 
